Howdy, friends and countrymen and women and out-of-countrymen, and why did women have to come third? Have I just exhibited blind adherence to an outmoded syntactical tradition or unintentionally perpetuated a symptom of patriarchal oppression? I don’t know. What I do know is I think women are awesome, and if my manner of address came off offensively, well, doggone it, I didn’t mean for it to.
*mops brow, sighs*
On a less exhausting note, I have an awesome announcement to make. You ready? Here goes…
I will be a celebrity guest at the upcoming Scares That Care Weekend event in Williamsburg, Virginia from June 27th to June 29th.
“But Jonathan,” you say, “you’re not a celebrity.”
To which I respond, “SHHHHHH!!!! Don’t tell anyone!!!!”
It is surreal to look at this page and see my image (scroll down to the Authors section) under the same heading as Brian Keene, Jack Ketchum, and the other amazing authors listed there. It’s also surreal to share the page with Tony Todd (Candyman), Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th), Yaphet Kotto (Alien), William Atherton (Ghostbusters), Doug Jones (Pan’s Labyrinth), and Chris Freaking Sarandon—ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The star of Fright Night and The Princess Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas?!?! I’m on the same page as that guy?!?!
Okay, sorry. I got a little worked up there. But you can see why I’m excited, right?
For those book lovers out there, check out this list of authors:
Brian Keene
Jack Ketchum
Tom Monteleone
Brian Moreland
Kelli Owen
Kristopher Rufty
Mary SanGiovanni
Hunter Shea
Bryan Smith
Wrath James White
Jonathan Janz
I put myself last because, well, I went with alphabetical order, and by some strange turn of events I ended up first, and one look at my name above any of those authors—not to mention directly atop Keene and Ketchum—felt too bizarre for words. But the point remains…what an incredible lineup!
You should make your plans now to attend. Proceeds from your tickets will go directly to families who need it, so the event is for a fantastic cause. I’ll be signing all weekend, participating on a Friday panel, and doing a reading on Saturday with my good friend (and kick-bootie writer) Hunter Shea.
I’ll end by saying two things. One, it’s an incredible honor to be a part of this event. I’m deeply thankful and grateful to be included. Secondly, if you’re anywhere near Williamsburg this summer, I’d love to meet you. The event is going to be amazing, and the people involved all have generous hearts. I can’t wait!
*runs off to stare fixedly at my shrine collection of Jack Ketchum books*
Jonathan Janz 
Damn, that’s a horrifically hellacious lineup! Yourself included! 😀
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Thank you, Chris! It IS a fantastic lineup, isn’t it? 🙂
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I might see you there. Not as a featured author though of course. *ahem* Just a fan WOMAN. 😉
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Hah! Well, if you make it, it will be great to see you. You’re a super fanwoman! 🙂
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I cannot wait to be there. You and I are going to have a damn good time. I even have a personal assistant coming (aka my brother-in-law) to take professional pics, load and unload stuff, sell books and most importantly, get cocktails for us writerly types.
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Dude, that is CLUTCH! The picture thing will be great since I always forget to take them myself.
It’s gonna be a blast. Can’t wait, my friend! 🙂
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