Thank you to the 14 of you who read my last hijacked blog post.   I was so surprised when I saw those stats spike on JJ’s page.   #Humbled. (Seriously though, it almost received as many hits as the Sugar Free Gummy Bears on Amazon.)

Have you tried the maxi pad trick yet?   If you haven’t please refer back to my first blog post. I want to share another important household hack with you.This involves Boy Pee (yes, it is a proper noun. Sometimes when I’m really mad it’s BOY PEE!!!!) I’m sorry but boys are gross. As talented as they may be aiming their junk, they are less than 50% from the free throw line. It may be the single most disgusting thing to clean because, grout.

I discovered this product called Clorox Urine Remover and my life has been changed.   Takes out the stains and smells. It is SO good that my formerly white grout is now a nice light beige instead of dark yellow. When the creative minds at Clorox were brainstorming around their conference room table, they only invited moms of boys to participate in this Think Tank and share their horror stories.   Alas, Clorox Urine Remover was born.

JJ gets a lot of questions as to how he has the time to write with a full time teaching career and a family of five.   While he is fully equipped to answer this question, I thought perhaps I would shed my perspective on it. This is not only for advice for aspiring writers but really for anyone that is in a relationship with children that doesn’t want their Significant Other to detest them. The struggle is real.

Jon Jon and I made an arrangement after our second child was born and we have stuck with it. It’s simple but is guaranteed to improve your relationship. On weekends and any vacations, we split the day. He writes for half of the day while I’m with the kids and then we switch after lunch. The evenings are then spent together as a family.

We both get time to pursue our interests without holding grudges and also without getting on each other’s nerves. It is not normal for people to spend so much time together. It’s just not. As a certified spouse/mother/friend/sister/daughter, I know this to be 100% true.

SO much in this post. It’s incongruous.   I’m not here to be proper though.

As promised the Crotch Pot Chicken Curry recipe.

–3 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs (Fine use breasts if you want but in saving fat you sacrifice flavah.)

–Some onions (Kelli Owen amount*) halved and thinly sliced

–8 garlic cloves, thinly sliced (DO IT! DO IT!)

–Some carrots (Kelli Owen amount) cut into large chunks and not the baby variety because those taste like those swim floats you buy in the summer and remove from the package and get this huge whiff of plastic. It’s that taste.

–Kelli Owen amount of sliced peeled fresh ginger (about 1 ounce)

–2 tablespoons curry powder

–1 teaspoon ground coriander

–1 teaspoon ground cumin

–Coarse salt

–10 ounce package frozen green peas

–2 cans unsweetened coconut milk,but not that crappy lite version. It’s insulting.

–1/2 cup toasted cashews (optional, but if you don’t like your family then leave them out.)

–1/4 cup cilantro leaves (optional, but again only left out if you hate the people eating your meal.)

–Jasmine rice cooked according to the directions and for the love of all that is mighty, DO NOT use white rice that you buy in bulk for 50 cents unless you like clumps of rice that emulate yo grammy’s cream of wheat.

Directions

–In a crotch pot, toss chicken, onion, carrots, garlic, ginger, curry powder, coriander, and cumin to coat.

–Season with kosher salt. Cover, cook on high setting until chicken is fork-tender, about 4 hours or 6-8 hours on low (do not uncover while cooking. Don’t do it you rebel.)

–2  Stir in coconut milk and peas; cover, cook until peas are heated through, about 20 minutes.

–3  Serve over rice topped with toasted cashews and fresh cilantro leaves.

 *Kelli Owen amount=as much as yo mama thinks it should contain